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The Revisionist's Pantoum by ~aethercowboy:iconaethercowboy:



How many times must I write this tale?
Every time I finish, I feel the need to recreate,
And when I think about it, I want to do it too.
Sometimes I leave things out, and need to add them later.

Every time I finish, I feel the need to recreate,
I formulate religions, worlds, political hierarchies.
Sometimes I leave things out, and need to add them later.
No story is ever finished with me.

I formulate religions, worlds, political hierarchies.
Kingdoms rise and fall, sometimes disappearing entirely.
No story is ever finished with me.
With me, I always see room for improvement.

Kingdoms rise and fall, sometimes disappearing entirely.
Kings and queens vanish, sometimes given facelifts, showing that
With me, I always see room for improvement.
I am hypercritical to an excessive degree.

Kings and queens vanish, sometimes given facelifts, showing that
I see the flaws in my own creations.
I am hypercritical to an excessive degree.
I am obsessed with myself, but not in a good way.

I see the flaws in my own creations.
I see the way to fix children.
I am obsessed with myself, but not in a good way.
I have started every line in this stanza with the word “I.”

I see the way to fix my children.
I use a wrench, a paintbrush, linguistic classes.
I have started every line in this stanza with the word “I.”
I hope you appreciate it as much as I do.

I use a wrench, a paintbrush, linguistic classes.
These used to modify man, machine and marmoset,
I hope you appreciate it as much as I do.
My former method involved creating character personalities on the fly.

These used to modify man, machine and marmoset.
They soon became bipolar, schizophrenic, or having multiple personalities.
My former method involved creating character personalities on the fly.
He raised his maggots well, but went on an adventure.
They managed to forgive him.

His children needed him, though he was not there.
How may times must I write this tale?
They managed to forgive him.
And when I think about it, I want to do it too.
©2006-2008 ~aethercowboy
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Submitted: Mar 13, 2006
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Author's Comments

This is not a villanelle, but a pantoum. It is a poem built of a series of quatrains. It is of the form:

ABCD BEDF ... YCZA (or YAZC, if you're a cheat like me). If that doesn't make sense, check out Wikipedia's article on it: [link]

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~Krystalblood:iconKrystalblood: Mar 13, 2006, 8:39:08 PM
WOw kinda neat. Seems complicated to make, and make right for that matter. Very nicely done ^^

--

give Krystalblood more *HUGS*
~naughtbutanillusion:iconnaughtbutanillusion: Mar 14, 2006, 2:46:19 AM
Very nice, I haven't come across this poetry style before. It's interesting.

I love the way you end the poem, it's really thought provoking.

Thank you for introducing me to something new, perhaps I should trying writing something like that some time.

--
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